Years recounted

I have noticed, after reading through my blog, that instead of comedy, my life became filled with the sense of loss and an undeniable fact of loneliness. As I step past the line of graduation, what will happen to a life like mine? What will happen?

My teeth are bared and serrated
My thoughts about self are elucidated
My inner self are constantly held back
My reputations are kept intact
My ability hindered by inability
My genius lacking stability
My shortcomings gradually pile up
My hope, I won't ever reach the top

There is no one who enjoys my presence always
No one desperately tells me to stay
I've avoided and stayed away from frays
But, why does no one ever--ever stay

There is always a reminder
Of how the old times, they were so tender
But now, bittersweet meetings
Temporary, quick, and never lasting

I guess it's me, not about anyone else
A presumption my situation tells
But, myself, its looks, seems well
However, I repeatedly, continuously fell

Another failure at my part
As many more of "them" departs
Then, I am forced another start
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,......!
Oh, how regret keeps me at bay
Where its ridiculously sharp claws lay
The good things that might just may...
But, I'm left all alone at the end of day

A standard bolt to the heart
Became such a powerful snap
Just like a constantly accelerating
High speed revolving dart
Nonchalantly, it meticulously drills
At every sight, I get the chills
My body as strong as sediment
With blood splattering in micro increments

Having seen my soul, my bosom plays a pitiful rhythm
The murmurs and whispers becoming hymns
Had I changed myself on a whim
It'll begone! those mayhems

The outraged circuit becomes covered in static
The devices spark and burn out
The information network crowds with information
The I/O pin becomes unable to handle the distortions

It seems that luck isn't on my side
A rabbit appeared instead
Just as quickly, that disappears
The end of it never nears

It's not so surprising, my entity
I've pretty much wasted all the opportunities
A great abundance of vanities
Giving light to so many fatalities

Even after realization, I just keep traveling
Everything surrounding me is keeping pressure
More commonly now, I make violations
Until what comes from me is out of bounds

The cycle of death is constantly receding
That is what I led myself to believing
The thread of my life skillfully weaving
Whose life do you think you're envying?!?!
Yeah, It's quite a pitiful life
Nothing from it could ever suffice
So demon come, keep me, entice
No charming angel will come my way, not even one with a fife

Even when a firm supporter cries
In my mind, his/her words won't italize
My state being remains unfazed
There is no one in this world able to stop this craze