Dead and Gone

Promises are engagements or vows
That is granted without fear
For there is an assurance
And the worries disappear

I think a promise is an oath
To that other someone
You'll be subject to scorn if you
break it, and that y0u're over and done

They are not meant to
be broken so easily
They are an ironclad rule
Much more powerful than idle remembrances
and even more than the usual assurance
Those who break it are just too cruel

So what am I now??
A liar, a good-for-nothing??
Maybe a bastard or a weakling
Or even a bum,, or just maybe nothing

Nothing in your eyes,
Because I've broken a promise
So, I'll take in all your attacks
For what I have done is
Worthy of a crime, so I will
Not blame you if you all turn your backs

Man, I hate this all
And I still cant believe
That I did this hideous
Crime on Christmas Eve

What should I do??
Now that it's Christmas, the real thing
I will accept all misfortunes
That Christmas brings


This is no comedy,, it is one sick joke. But, I feel obligated to write this into my blog. I broke a promise, I really did. And now, I feel bad and ugly,, all of it inside. There it is again, feeling worse and worse now, I mean a promise of all things. To Nicko, Cherika, Maria, Aida, Kristine, and Lorenz,, I apologize. But, please, for me, do not acknowledge my apology. For all of this would sound so meaningless if it could be repaired by words. Words so simple,, that everyone uses commonly. That is not enough. You guys are probably mad, though lower from my expectations, so just tell me what to do please. It'll only cease, this pain, if you guys can give me a punishment, a punishment worth the magnitude of this deed, this deed that was wrong. So, guide me now, into the caves of despair, and throw me into the ditches of solemn hatred. Without a light, I'll follow a ridiculous lead, a sound of a rock, or maybe the water, and may I be lost forever.....