Before time runs out.....

What is this feeling?
That I feel forever bound
Was this my whole life?
It's not right, the ugly, gore sound

Why do I even need to?
I've lived without this
But now, it's slowly coming out?
NO! Dont please!.....................

As i walk by the halls of a crowded mall or open sea or the whereabouts of a restaurant, my mind thinks differently now. Of course, in any event, people would look, look at others who congregate the same general area. For me, I only had one objective. That is, to look for people I know. People whom I knew then and can talk and have fun with if needed company. The way I can come up to them and they would remember me. The way I can feel a little less lonely seeing more and more and more of them. I feel accomplished just having been able to say hi to them or hugging them.


Yup, I always look for others. Sometimes, I even factor the way they walk, their posture, the clothes they wear, face(mostly), and the friends they hang around with. To go to such detail? is that dedication? hahaha,, A smirk for a friend passing by. Though, many times, they dont see me and no interaction occurs...


But But But,, something now is different. Always looking for someone else now. My goal is maimed and aimed at something else. I've grown accustomed to c hecking people out. Why do i need to do this? I never had to really do this before. Am i looking for companions? But I already have great friends. Many who would get in trouble for me for a special event. So what?! Am i longing for love again? being surrounded by some people who is having a greater time than I, becuz they have a special someone..... its envious. I guess i've been jealous since since before. But, doing this will only hurt people. I want to go back the way it was before.