Unexpected Return

Sooner than I thought,
I have returned
Not by need, not by want,
Not by curiosity, but by expectations
But, yet again, they are turned down
As one as melancholy as myself would figure
There's no saving this place,
My thoughts will become disfigured

It has really been quite a while
Since I stepped into this journal,
So many things so new,
That the recalled sadness seems nocturnal

Though, by guess and calculations,
My theory remain outstanding,
That there was so much,
Houdinis, in front of me, standing

Yet, now, I feel a connection that may,
Actually, stay, a place where I can be,
I have need for protection,
I have no need to flee
But, behind the security,
There will be a doubt,
A doubt so strong about having everything,
Actually burn to the ground
.......I'd rather it not.

The feelings of friends had become to be acquaintances. The long lasting friendships turn into unexpected strangers. As I jot down my thought here again, I realize, I have lost more hope into humanity and yet I still focus on them.

I do now have closer friends, in a very small group, that I feel that I could trust. For now, I will be beside them, care for them, protect them, and help them. And, may it stay like that for a long while.